


The Wretched of The Earth

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Minor Violence, OOC, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Sad, homophobic violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 12:31:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10334777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Grantaire is raped when he's out drinking alone.





	

Grantaire was walking home one night from the bar he frequented when he wasn't drinking in his own home, a place where he could drink without judgement or comments, joking or otherwise. He loved his friends but he didn't need to be reminded he was a drunk every ten minutes. He, intoxicated and in no real hurry, was stumbling just slightly. 

"Hey, faggot!" One of two men called and snapped Grantaire out of his thoughts. He wondered for a moment why these strangers might call him that but when they came into the light and he recognized them as two men from across the bar that he'd just been at. He'd recognized them as men who he'd politely raised his glass to when they made eye contact. He didn't think about the leather bracelet that his boyfriend Enjolras had given him that donned a rainbow flag. Not until after it happened. 

"Be nice now." Grantaire retorted to the pair, a drunken and joking statement of warning. Surely they wouldn't really want to start a fight for nothing?

"Look at him. He's already hideous anyway, nobody's going to want him after because nobody would want him before." One of them say and they both laugh. 

 

Grantaire doesn't. "S'cuse me?" He starts walking backwards, watching them. He was getting a bit nervous now. 

 

That was when one charged him, pushing him to the brick wall. "So you like other men?" He scoffs, getting so close that R could feel his hot breath on his face. "Then this will be a gift." 

 

"Wh-" Grantaire started, but saw something in the man's hanx catch the light. He had a knife. That's when R began to get truly terrified. He would have run but he was pinned to the wall and dizzy. "I wasn't looking for any trouble." 

 

The men both dragged him into the narrow alley and threw him to the ground. Keeping him quiet took them taking turns pinning his shoulders to the concrete, and muffling him with his own scarf. "Shut up. Stop making noise or I'll fucking stab you. Shut. Up." He felt a blade at his neck and started screaming again, despite being gagged by the wad of fabric in his mouth. 

 

The last thing he could remember was the feeling of spit in his hair and the words, "Ugly little faggot!".

It took them beating him unconscious. 

 

___ 

 

Enjolras came to the table to the table that next morning, looking visibly upset. "He always knows his way back home. And if he doesn't he calls. He could be in someone's bed as we speak! Or jail! Or dead!" 

 

Combeferre, who was currently making toast, glanced up at him for a moment. He looks back down at the counter, eyes flickering over nothing in particular as he pondered. "He's… probably fine. Have you tried calling him?" 

 

"Yes, of course! Only ten times." Enjolras snaps, completely on edge. 

 

Everyone sort of silently agreed to let him rant on, knowing Grantaire was probably fine. 

\-- 

 

Nobody had gotten answers to any questions until he came in around 10 AM on the rainy day, donning a slightly swollen eye and bruises all over his face and arms, along with some spots of blood on his clothes.

 

Enjolras came bolting out of his room when he heard the door of the flat open. "R, thank goodness you're…okay?" He freezes. "Did you get into another fight?" 

 

Grantaire thought about that for a moment. He could lie and save himself the shame. He could say he'd gotten into a drunken fight and lost. Badly. Instead he just shook his head slowly, face blank. What else could he say? Nobody would believe him. And even so, nobody could help him if they knew the truth.

 

"Did you get jumped, then?" E asks, walking closer to him. His boyfriend shook his head again and he was filled with nothing but worry. "What was it then?" He asked, reaching to take his hand. Grantaire yanked it away.

 

"D-don't touch me…" Came a whispered protest from R, who hadn't heard his own voice since he'd tried to convince his attackers not to do what they did. It came out raspy and he put it together himself in an instant that it was from a solid hour or more of screaming against the gag. "Please." 

 

"R, wh…what happened?" E asked, his voice getting softer yet more demanding at the same time, his hand dropping to his sides. 

 

"Nothing, I…I'm…" R struggled. "I need a drink." 

 

Enjolras, desparate to know what was wrong with him, simply obliged and gave him some rum from the cabinet but watched him wince at the smell.

The smell of rum for Grantaire was now the hot breath on his neck. It was the hands that had no right to touch him and the creatures that had no right to make a home of his body. It was trying to scream through the gag and nobody coming to his rescue. "Not this…" He said blankly again. 

 

Enjolras sighed and fetched another random bottle down, setting it in front of him.

 

Grantaire barely let it hit his tongue before he slammed it down on the counter, his hand over the lip of the bottle and his head resting on that hand. The alcohol tasted like going out and walking home alone. It tasted like not fighting quite hard enough or screaming loud enough. It tasted like the sounds of the footsteps of a few pedestrians walking by, pretending they heard nothing. It tasted like waking up to the rain hitting his half naked body. "I made mistakes." R finally muttered at the thoughts that were getting to be too much. If he hadn't gotten so drunk this wouldn't have happened to him. He wouldn't have been stumbling, he wouldn't have been too dizzy or stupid to run home. It was all his fault.

 

"Well…what did you do?" E asks, gulping. 

 

Grantaire just layed his head down on the table slowly and after a moment started to cry. "They used me." He chokes out, only able to come up with those three words. "They used me!"

 

It was instinct for Enjolras to want to comfort R but when he tried to touch him, he flinched.

 

E stood there for a minute, just staring at the beaten and trembling body sitting at the table. He shook with silent sobs that broke E's heart. "What do I do, 'Taire?" He asked softly, his voice shattered by emotion. "What can I do to help?" 

 

Grantaire just shook his head, letting his tears fall. After a few moments he finally stood and walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind him and stripping and stepping into the shower, turning the water temperature all the way up. His shame burned him much greater than the scalding water that fell over his damaged body.

 

Enjolras cried openly when his boyfriend was out of sight, not wanting to be selfish. He felt sick with anger and regret. 

 

Jehan went to comfort Enjolras, and was, like everyone else, sad and in disbelief. "Enjolras…" He said and Enjolras just shook his head bitterly. 

 

"I should have been there!" 

"You heard him yourself, he wanted to go alone. That entails walking home alone, unfortunately." Jehan gulped, trying to help. 

 

Enjolras didn't see it as such, whipping around to face him. "So what?! You're going to blame him?!" 

 

"No! Nonono…" Jehan shook his head. "Not at all. I'm simply saying that it likely couldn't have been prevented."

"I could have prevented it." He snapped and started pacing the floor moments later. The others that were present watched him with shifted eyes. What could he possibly do? Maybe he was just doing it to not make himself go completely mad. 

 

Meanwhile in the bathroom, Grantaire sat in the shower, crying bitterly and only bringing more pain to his body as each sob that ripped it's way out of his chest shook him. He closed his eyes, the hot water stinging his cuts and making his skin bright red. He just wanted to be clean. After a while the water progressed from hot to warm to cold and Grantaire just sat there still. What could he do? Everyone, especially Enjolras, was probably angry with him. Why wouldn't they be? Unless they didn't even care about his safety. The attackers words echoed over and over in his mind. Ugly little faggot. That's all he was. They'd ruined him, not that there was much to ruin in his mind.   
When he finally stood and got out, wrapping himself in a towel, he wiped the steam that was left on the mirror and dropped the towel after a few moments, looking at his body. He saw the fingerprint bruises on his arms and his hips and remembered how they grasped him so tightly. His whole body was sprinkled but cuts from the knife they'd threatened him with and with bruises but…his face. His eye was swollen and almost blue and his jaw on the opposite side of that was red and purple. He crumbled to the ground, vision becoming cloudy as he felt all the breath leave his lungs. He was starting to try and draw some oxygen back in but got sick instead, leaning over the toilet and heaving into it.

 

Enjolras heard this and stood quickly, going to knock on the door. "R?" 

 

"No! No, go away!" R coughed and protested in return.

 

E remembered that Grantaire went in without any clothes to change into so he went to their bedroom and got him the softest of his clothes to put on and a glass of water alongside some painkillers. He slipped a note for his boyfriend under the door, written in a slightly more shaky version of his near-perfect penmanship.

 

"Outside the door are clothes and pain relief. Please use them both whenever you can. Nobody will be looking. - E ♡" 

 

Grantaire read the note as soon as it came under and retrieved the items a few moments later. He dressed in the clothes as quickly as possible and took the pills with the glass of water. He felt like he might even throw that up, his shaking body hardly feeling real. 

 

"Good. He-he took those things into the bathroom with him." Enjolras nodded, still pacing the room.

 

"Enjolras…?" Bahorel suggested from the couch, watching his friend work himself up. "I think you should try and…relax." 

 

Enjolras shot a look his way and everyone else in the room knew it was a foolish suggestion, forcing him to go against his very nature.   
They all sort of sat around until each man had to go about his usual routine, whether working or getting an education, until Enjolras was the last one there.

 

A while had passed before Grantaire resurfaced from the bathroom and headed straight for he and E's bedroom, his body still hurting with every move despite the painkillers he'd taken. He crawled into the bed, trying not to think or cry or exist or allow himself to acknowledge his own existence. He just laid down, pulling the covers up. The familiar scent and comfort of the bed on his traumatized mind and body were at least enough comfort to lull him to sleep. 

__

 

Grantaire didn't wake up until much later, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He peered at the window and realized that the sun was either setting or rising. He stood and saw how the near-golden light shone on the wet streets we'd found himself unconscious on this morning. He shook the thought from his head and opened the door slowly, taking note that the house was dark like it was right before anyone got home for the day to turn a light on, save for the light outside…what was left of it, anyway. Grantaire had decided it was sunset, then. 

"'Taire?" A soft voice came from behind him. He jumped a bit, turning around quickly. Enjolras was standing there by the counter.

 

"Oh…" R said quietly. Of course it was Enjolras. "Hey." 

 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He swallows, not exactly sure how to talk to him. "How do you feel?" 

"Fine." R lied, trudging over and flipping the light switch on. "Why were the lights off?" 

 

"Just…didn't think of turning them on." He shrugged and looked down at his feet. It was true, his mind was so busy he'd hardly noticed that it was getting dark. "Do you need anything?" He looks back up, trying not to react in any way to the state of his boyfriend's face. 

 

Grantaire moved forward, exhaling as he slowly snaked his arms around E's neck. 

 

Enjolras froze for a moment before hesitantly wrapping his arms around him in return. After a few minutes of the embrace he felt hot tears on his neck. "R?" 

 

Grantaire didn't answer for a bit, trying to hold back sobs. But when he did, Enjolras was shocked. "I'm sorry, Apollo." 

 

"What? F-for what?" Enjolras leaned away, looking at him. 

 

R kept his eyes downcast, tears rolling silently down his face and over the crimson and purple bruises. "That I went out alone. And that you have to deal with me. It was stupid. It was a stupid choice and I'm stupid and I'm sorry." 

 

E took both his hands then. "You didn't know that it was going to happen. You aren't stupid. Don't think it's your fault, R. It's not. And caring about you isn't a burden."

 

Grantaire covered his face, starting to cry again then. He sobbed into his hands, reality hitting him hard. He fell to his knees and in an instant E was right beside him, pulling him close.

After about an hour of holding his boyfriend on the kitchen floor while he sobbed, shook, and at times screamed Enjolras began to play with his dark curls until he calmed down a bit. "We should probably get off the floor, the others will be home soon." He whispered calmly to the man in his arms. 

 

R nodded, letting him help pull him up by his hands to stand. He immediately went to the cabinet, getting a bottle. Enjolras wanted to protest but decided against it. He'd had enough stress, and at the end of the day there was no stopping him, regardless. He never wanted to remember a lot and Enjolras knew what had happened last night would be no exception. He watched as his love grasped the bottle with both hands and raised it to his lips, consuming it like it was oxygen and he'd just run a marathon.   
Once he'd finished the bottle, he took another and walked to their bedroom. 

"Where are you going, love?" 

"Sleep." He called back dryly and shut the bedroom door behind him. 

Enjolras stared at that door until someone came home. 

 

"Enjolras?" 

 

"Hi, Couf." He cleared his throat and wiped his eyes before turning around to face Courfeyrac. 

 

"How is he?" He asks, searching his face. 

 

Enjolras sighed deeply, knowing it was obvious that he'd been crying. "Not well, as you might suspect." He says, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his shirt and going to sit down. "He had a nap and a good cry. And now he's drunk. Or asleep." He shrugs a bit, looking down at his hands. 

 

Coufeyrac nodded, sitting down across from him. "I see." He says. "Is he badly hurt?" 

 

"Yes, but… he has all the pain relief he needs, evidently." 

\--- 

Later that night Enjolras slipped into bed beside the slightly shorter man who'd been asleep for a long time now. E hadn't been there for too long before Grantaire started to thrash in his sleep, his breath hitching. Enjolras shook him in the darkness, trying to wake him up. 

 

"DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!" His screams came out broken and frightened and when he was awake he didn't come to for a few moments. 

 

E ran to the wall, flipping the light switch on. "It's me, R! It's Enjolras!" 

 

Grantaire just stared at him for a moment, trying to fully wrap his head around reality. "Oh…" He whispered, wiping his eyes. "Okay. I'm…I'm okay." He said to him. 

 

"Yes, you're fine. You're safe with me now." E nodded, keeping the lights on as went back to the bed. "Let's just lay down, okay? Try to get back to sleep." 

 

He laid back down, facing Enjolras now. "I'm sorry for waking you up." 

 

"You didn't. And it's no bother anyway so long as you're safe." He whispered, reaching forward to play with his hair again. "I love you." 

 

"Thank you." Came the unusual response from his lips. "Thank you for loving me. I know it's hard." 

 

E stopped stroking his hair, just letting his hand rest on the curls now. "What? Grantaire…" He met his eyes. "Loving you is the easiest part of my life. I wouldn't trade you for the world." 

 

"Don't you want someone who's handsome like you?" He asks, not meeting his boyfriend's eyes as tears started to form in his own. "Or someone smart or...someone who's not weak like me?" 

 

"I've never seen you as weak." He says sternly. "I never have and I don't now and that's not going to change, I can promise you that."

 

-

 

The next week was quiet at home, Enjolras unable to take any more days away from his education, his work, or his causes and rallies. Grantaire told him that he couldn't even dream of going outside and he believed him and accepted that. R had been drinking for a while and the house was almost dry. Who was he supposed to ask for alcohol? 

He got out of bed and took a shower for the first time since that morning he came home. It brought back the same feelings and of course, there he was again. He stood bravely, looking in the mirror. The bruise on his jaw had gotten slightly less purple and more red, a yellow splotch in the middle starting to form and his swollen eye had gone down, shades of blue and purple and red and yellow all around it. He looked away then, disgusted with himself. He had no desire to look at himself. And he didn't know why anyone else would either, especially E. He stared at the floor for a while before starting to cry, sobriety making him feel even more uncomfortable and vulnerable. He let it out since there was nobody home, bitter and loud sobs that echoed off the tile and disappeared into back into the nothingness from where they come. "I should be dead." He whispered to himself, in some peculiar mix of realization and wishfulness. "Why am I not dead?" 

 

Grantaire stopped asking himself questions when he heard the front door open. He dressed quickly, standing up and opening the door of the bathroom and stepping out. 

 

"Oh. Hi." Courfeyrac smiled a bit at him.

 

"Stock this place up." Grantaire said instantaneously.

 

"What?" He was taken aback that Grantaire had even spoken, let alone demanded something of him. 

 

"Alcohol, Couf. Please?" He gulped. 

 

"Eh, I don't think Enjolras would li-" He started but was cut off. 

 

"No! Listen to me for once. Enjolras has no say in this. He's my boyfriend, not my father." Grantaire kept his eyes on his feet despite speaking frankly with his friend. "What…what happened to me didn't happen to him or anyone else so I don't think anyone else should have any say in how I deal with things. This…this is my way. And it's not the best but it's what works for me and I know it's not healthy but I don't care. I don't care. I don't want to remember anything." 

 

When Grantaire looked up he could tell Coufeyrac was at a loss for words, put in quite the position now. 

 

"Here," R continued, grabbing his wallet from the place where he kept it by the door along with his keys. He pulled out all the cash he had and pinned it to Courfeyrac's chest until the man was forced to take it into his own hands. "My money. My problems. My solutions. You aren't doing anything wrong, just helping a friend." He tries to smile a bit. 

 

"Fine, Grantaire. But…I'm rooting for you, yes?" He asked and R nodded in return, watching the man walk out the door shortly after. 

 

\--

Later that night when Enjolras got home the bottles that cluttered the countertop caught his attention.  
He suspected this was either R's doing or someone was planning a party. He currently wasn't too keen on the idea of either.   
We went to their bedroom and opened the door, finding his boyfriend with an almost empty bottle of wine on his nightstand, fast asleep. He turned on his heel and left the room, going out to the living area where all of their roommates were. "Who bought all the wine? And the brandy? And the whiskey?" He sneers and after a moment of silence he snaps. "Who?!" 

 

"I did." Courfeyrac muttered in response.

 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He all but shouts, almost feeling betrayed.

 

Grantaire woke up at the sounds of the shouts, startled. He sat up, rubbing his eyes slowly, listening to the words spoken between the two. 

 

"He needed it! He told me he did, at least. And it…it really seemed like he did." He sighs, shrugging a bit.

 

"The last thing he needs right now is to be constantly drunk and pushing away all of his problems! Take some responsibility!" Enjolras snaps. 

 

"I'm sorry. He just…looked so broken." Courfeyrac shook his head. "I just wanted to try and make him feel better. I miss him and his jokes and…I don't know." 

 

"You think I don't know that?" Enjolras scoffed. "I miss R, too. But we can't just nurse his problems with liquor! He needs help. And I…I don't know how to help. But this?" He gestured to the counter, more sadness prevalent than anger then. "This is not the right way. He's barely eaten. Or done anything but sleep and drink. If we all keep enabling him like this he'll never allow himself to remember enough to heal." 

 

After hearing that Grantaire closed his eyes to keep tears from overflowing, and when his Enjolras came to bed he pretended to be asleep again. 

\---

 

"I want to go outside." Grantaire appeared in the living area on that Saturday morning. 

 

"What?" Enjolras looked up, surprised. 

 

"The bruises on my face are healing. And this house is going to suffocate me if I keep in here. I just want to, uh…go on a walk or something." He sighed, shrugging just a bit. 

 

"Oh. Okay." E nodded, smiling a little hopefully. Maybe this was progress. "We can do that." 

 

In minutes Grantaire had found himself outside with Enjolras. He breathed the fresh air and walked on the pavement that he hadn't since that morning. He tried not to think about those sorts of things, though. 

 

"This is nice." E said, snapping Grantaire out of his thoughts. "I'm glad we're doing this. I'm proud of you." 

"It's just going outside." Grantaire retorted in a mumble.

 

"Well, that's a lot considering where you've been the past week and a half." E sighed, wrapping an arm around him. "And I'm proud of you." 

 

"Okay." Grantaire replied in a quiet voice, keeping his eyes on his feet as he took step after step and waited a few minutes before speaking up again. "E?" 

 

"Hm?" 

 

"Do you view me any differently now?" He began. And once he began, he couldn't quite stop, speaking at a rapid pace. "You must see me as a weak man now. And does it bother you that we can't have sex now? You haven't said anything but you must be thinking it, right? Right? But would you still even want me? I'm damaged now. They said that I was damaged. But they said it's fine because I was ugly anyway and I know I am but I- and do you still love me!? I'm sorry. I can't do this. I want to go home, I really want to go home. I need a drink. I can't be here! I can't do this!" Grantaire broke down, covering his eyes. "I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry. I really really tried. I want to get better. I'm so sorry." 

 

Enjolras pulls him into a hug, tears forming in his own eyes as he heard his boyfrend's thoughts and fears. He was at a complete loss for words. "We…we can go home, 'Taire." He whispers, his face in R's hair, pressing a kiss to his head. "It's okay, love. Shhh. Everything's okay." 

\-- 

Combeferre into his room one day. "Grantaire?" 

"Mm'what?" He sat up, half asleep and half drunk. 

"I just figured I'd check on you." He shrugs, sitting on the bed. "Enjolras just went to the store an-" 

"Ahh, so he sent you in here." Grantaire laughs a bit, rubbing his face. "I know he thinks I need a babysitter but…I don't. Thanks." 

 

"Listen, R," Ferre began. "He just doesn't want you to be alone." 

 

"What if I want to be alone?" R retorted. "All I'll do is lay here." 

 

"All you'll do is drink." He corrects him.

 

"And what's so wrong with that other than the fact that Enj says otherwise?!" R snaps now, fed up. "I'm not a child, for Christ's sake! I know that drinking is bad, alright?! But it's good for me! I know that I may just be a bloody alcoholic and a cynic but I think I have the right to be cynical! This world is shit and I just want to forget that I exist in it!" 

 

Sometime during that Combeferre had stood up. "Everyone has struggles, R, but-woah!" He was cut off by a shoe flying just past his head. "No need for violence!" 

 

"YOU DON'T KNOW VIOLENCE!" Grantaire screams at this point. "GET OUT! GO! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! EVERYONE LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, WOULD YOU!?"

 

Ferre walks away, closing the door behind him as the shouted words practically echo off the walls.

-

Enjolras comes home later, entering the room quickly and waking R up in the process.

"Hey, I was sleeping…" Grantaire sits up, rubbing his eyes.

"You need to stay awake until it's actually time for bed." E says, sounding a little annoyed. Grantaire had guessed he'd already been informed of the earlier outburst. 

 

"Why?" 

 

"So you can actually sleep soundly. And without drinking." He replies, not looking at him as he sat down on the bed. "You might not even have the nightmares if you stopped drinking." 

 

"I wouldn't even sleep, Apollo." He scoffs. "You know that." 

 

"No. You've not even tried that. So no. I don't know that." Enjolras remarked, still not looking at him. "It's been two weeks, 'Taire. It's time for you to start trying to live a normal life again. You haven't painted or been to the gym to box or…or anything. You've hardly eaten." 

 

"Nothing tastes right, Apollo. Nothing feels right." Grantaire mumbles after a few moments, his shaking voice now filled with shame as tears began to roll down his cheeks.  
He watches as the next few minutes they sat in silence, his boyfriend just staring at the floor on the other side of the room. "You can't even look at me." He whispers. 

 

Enjolras answers only by turning his head towards him and looking at him. 

 

"Are you angry with me now?" Grantaire choked out, not being able to handle the thought. 

 

"I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at the whole situation." Enjolras swallowed, looking back down. "But mostly as those bastards who did it to you. And myself." 

 

"Why yourself?" He asks, wiping his eyes. 

 

"Because I don't know how to help you." He huffs. "I just… don't." 

 

"Then stop trying." R said, crawling over and laying his head in lap, tears starting to fall again. "Stop trying to save the world. Just let it be." He took his hand. "I…I'll be okay, Apollo. I just need time and then I'll be back to normal." 

 

Enjolras just smiled sadly down at him, tears rolling down his own cheeks now. He layed his hand on his boyfriend's face, stroking his thumb along his cheekbone. "I really hope so, love." He gulped. "I really do." 

 

\--

 

The first time Grantaire tried to have sex with Enjolras after the incident, it didn't go as planned. Things were going slowly and fine but when Enjolras entered him his reaction was to start crying. He tried to hide it at first but when Enjolras heard a sob-like sound from beneath him he froze, pulling out.   
"Did I hurt you?" He asks, starting to panic.   
"G-et off." Grantaire choked out before covering his mouth and Enjolras obeyed quickly and watched as his boyfriend sprang from the bed and ran towards the bathroom, wretching into the bowl.   
E followed behind after a minute, giving him his robe to cover himself up with. 

"We can try again!" R cried. "I can brush my teeth and we can try again. I promise it'll be better, I just have to make myself get through it." 

"Absolutely not." E replied. "I think it's just time to rest, baby." He said, smiling sadly. "You did so well, though. I'm proud of you." 

And, of course, Grantaire started to cry. He was lying. He'd done nothing to be proud about. Enjolras took him into his arms anyway and let him cry for a little bit. After a few minutes he stood. "You're right. It's time for me to go to sleep." He says, walking away from the room as quickly as he'd entered it, so embarrassed and discouraged.   
Enjolras was in the bathroom for a bit more so R snuck out to the kitchen and drank some wine, a great deal of it, and went to sleep on the couch. 

 

A week later, the second time they'd tried having sex again, it was almost the same, except Grantaire had at least felt he made himself useful by finishing E off with his hand, despite a bit of protesting from him. 

 

The third time was a success, Enjolras speaking to him softly and going slowly, never letting his mind wander off. "You're with me, aren't you, sweetheart?" He'd say. "You're doing so well. You're so good."

And when they'd both finished, Grantaire sat up and covered his face, not saying anything.

"Are you okay?" Enjolras asks, suddenly concerned now.   
Grantaire looked up at him, revealing tears in his eyes. "Yes, I-I am. I feel okay." He'd said and E could tell by his tone of voice that this was a revelation to him. He wraps his arms around his waist, smiling.

"I'm so proud of you. I hope you're proud of yourself, too."

R wipes his tears, leaning on Enjolras' shoulder. "It's all thanks to you, Apollo." 

 

"Don't discredit yourself. You did it. Not me. Love doesn't heal wounds. And time doesn't either. You did this yourself. And I am so proud of you." He whispers, kissing the mess of black curls. "I love you, 'Taire." 

 

"I love you, too." He smiles. 

 

The next morning Enjolras made his boyfriend a celebratory breakfast and brought it to him in bed. 

 

And over the next few weeks, Grantaire began to eat full meals, paint, go to the gym to box, and was at peace with his friends. He'd even stopped drinking everyday, which was a big improvement, and despite the occasional roadblock, Grantaire began to heal.


End file.
